What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 01.07.2025 02:44
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
And i lived it daily.
What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?
I think the readers, may guess!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One cannot live in the past .
We interrupt the Musk-Trump feud with a teensy bit of news from the climate front - Daily Kos
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Why don't we hear our own snoring?
Comes on , in middle age.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
NASA discovers that Earth's twin planet, Venus, is not geologically dead - Earth.com
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I was 9 years of age.
Frequent Nightmares Linked to Faster Aging and Premature Death - Gizmodo
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Hoarders say they feel stigmatized, face 'everyday discrimination' - upi.com
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Police take back statement dismissing hate crime in gay actor’s killing - The Washington Post
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Webb Captures a Cosmic Forest of Ancient Galaxies - PetaPixel
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Be a super-ager — and join the ‘wellderly’ - The Times
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Notes and quotes from Day 2 of Raiders' 2025 mandatory minicamp - Las Vegas Raiders
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Bethenny Frankel Reveals Her Teenage Daughter Bryn's Reaction to Her SI Swimsuit Look - People.com
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
This is soul school!.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Put me off passion for life!!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was very sick at this time too.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He knew the spot.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why did i forgive my father ?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I will be 64.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
It was going to be , some day.
All the time i was locked up.
She wouldn,t have been !
Ive learnt so much.
But it wasn’t much.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I don,t even have a pension.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As i do to all so called friends.?
She was in good health!
But, we were locked up after school.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
We were not on the streets..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He resisted the act ,that day.
She loved him until the end.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
What did i know ?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
My life is so biszare .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I couldn’t, believe it.
So, i spoilt her more .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Would this be the day?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I said to her
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My family never makes their pension either.
When she asked me how she looked .
So whats the point in blame.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I write beautiful poetry .
I waited trembling.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She found it foreign!.
I could never make a relationship work though!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I have no regrets .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was scared of men, in general
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Was to survive, this bastard.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
They are buried together, in the same grave..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I was seconnd youngest,
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Who then, do I blame.?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Im still living with it.
She married twice! .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
We all went to grammer schools
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!